Ways That Matter

Today, I woke up with intention. At first it looks like everything has began to take shape. All the works are now coming together. But my lips are tight, very tight, as I found out that I have compounded things that should have been very simple. Writing a book is hard, but still, what happened to communication? Do I hate God and African Americans? Well , if you ever love politics and liberal propaganda you must have buried me by now, yet they have no idea what projects to acknowledge? They relay every message they want the world to hear without hesitating to their ideas. They are internationally connected, now it is all about what Hillary wants,  she wants free education for all four-year-olds and they are not worried about who is going to pay for it. Then if you force people to pay for it, what is going to be the consequences? That is the liberal way of killing African American children through their control. President Clinton will restore hope through Global initiatives, are you kidding me. Where are we, what century are we on right now?  In life, you must love the two, God interchangeably with African American, yet the two does not go hand in hand. You decide. But then what did I do or could have done differently? Then as I woke up today, I realized that we are now on holidays, packing, and tears streaming down my face. It`s going to be a long summer, a beautiful summer I have promised my family. I will try and be there for them. There are things we love to do together, like going out to play. But I cannot complain, or say what I did yesterday, but I can vouch that my life has been on a straight lane now for a long time. I have over burned myself with so much which may not make sense to anyone. But as I began to write today; I want to remind myself that writing is a gift. Writing is a joy and life is too short to continue to struggle this way. I have tried to build a house in a honey land. I look distraught at what dangers I have created, the worst came from having to explain my intentions. Finally, get it, understand it, you are a writer, from a distance planet. Your home is way up and above. You stay as a swindle, opposing the home you have created. If there is a time, I want to go back to? Well, I want to go back to the first time I began writing; when passion was still there. Then I was not looking at who was there or who is saying what? Now, that I started, time is drawing so close to this day. I want to focus on all the little thing; I want to freedom that only creating can bring, freedom to my life again. This life and its meaning have some rapporteur, what I care for is that life comes back to where it was before. I care that our moving goes smoothly. I hope we will all dance again. What matters now is what is good for black children all over the world, poor people and not what democrats want. There is always a book to read. What are you reading this summer?reading boy

Assembly Of Peace.

To all my friends in the world
Assembly of peace
Rain down from atom
State of mind
Open for direction
Accustomed to this
In my wiggly mind
This is not a time to sabotage my chances anymore
Thank you all for your kindness,
Your humanity
Your love, and affections,
Your wisdom to discern what is truthful,
 I couldn’t do it without all of you
I know that the world is better than what we knew of it
The best part is the unknown………
The unknown is here again,
Things you know may not matter after all
It is simpler when we understand how it works
 I couldn`t have done it alone even if I try
I have tried and have failed twenty times
I ended up with frustrations because no one knew how much work I was putting in
I have tried and failed many times too before
 Always looking for a lift that felt totally distanced by my own actions,
Words and things that never make sense, but to my own world
 This is my time to tell you that I have risen to the challenges
And will be forever free.
I am now free from distress, a personal guilt, and procrastination.
The forlorn need to hide from the universe
Turn between things that were hard to define
Do it my own,
And my highest ways
 Redirecting, wishful thinking, doubts, durations, and timeless
 You have found another soul
That is still a working progress
Thank you heavily
Waiting to be used
 I say rejoice for the peace is here today

Thinking Globally Might Be Actually Good For you.

According to Urban Dictionary thinking globally means that “a country, company, university or individual thinks not just in term of their own existence and prosperity but they realize that people are now more connected worldwide than ever before via information technology and  that what they do have, not only impacts worldwide but also has the capacity to improve the lives of those in far flung corners of the world”.

There are some topics I do not like to go into details about because I usually leave it for the experts to talk about. I hate topics like global issues because I am still confused about many changes that had taken place over time. I started blogging thinking my blog was still in Phoenix where I had my computer; it took me three months to realize that I was on the World Wide Web. Secondly, I thought all Nigerians on my Facebook were all living in the United States, until they told me they were still in Africa. I was shocked that the world is closer than I supposed.   My strength is in poetry, going to college for 16 years( which seems like forever), having children, and empowering others .


 But recently a lot has happened. Our kids are 13, 10/1/2, 8, and five. In trying to avoid filling their brains with all that did not matter to them at young age, we stayed clear of so many topics. Topics like Africa as a whole and Nigeria in particular, slavery, racism, injustice, and stereotype. We always let them figure out the world by themselves. But the bad side of not teaching your kids things yourself is that they will learn it somewhere regardless. Guess what? Our kids know about Africa but only know the poor Africa where people take showers with a bucket. They know that there are plenty of roaches, monkeys, and animals in Africa.  They vowed that they will not go to Africa until they are ready.

As parents, it is imperative to help our children to diffuse some myths about Africa, poverty, racism, and stereotypes. One fascinating thing I have come to know is that most children now get their information on TV. They know more than you think they know.  As soon as they see any African picture with children carrying a bucket, they automatically assume that is all of Africa. They know so much even when you hate to teach them about race and all that has nothing to do with them.

 I am just like them too. Growing up in Africa, I had these similar myths that there is nothing that could be done about Africa; I also wrote a poem based on what I experienced as a child, called Children of Africa. But the best part of writing is that you use a past history to remind people about what was wrong and how you hope that things will change. Does it mean that corruption will go away in Africa? No because there are still things you see and believe that they have a long way to go.

 Then there are other areas of improvement and all one will do is give credit to this entire people who started this movement of elevating children from suffering. If I hadn’t come to America, I would have still been stuck in a place not knowing what was wrong with me. Sometimes children are born into different circumstance that they were unaware of but we still have to give them the opportunity to survive. We need to give them an opportunity to do something right for others to achieve success.

Talking about improvement, in the early 70s most Africans did not have a way of getting their green cards which could have allowed them to travel. Usually, a green card gives one an opportunity to travel in and out of the United States. A green card gave them the opportunity to work hard, live a decent life in America. Without a green card no one could achieve great success. Before, most Africans carried all their families’ financial burdens. They sent money home despite all the challenges they faced.  Later as their status began to change, they began bringing their siblings over from Africa. I was one of those siblings who came because my sister was already living in the United States.  When those siblings came, they started to help others. That means their older brothers now got a break; with time more people came over. With more people coming over, things began to change; those who were here too took their knowledge back home. They became professors in African colleges; they started transferring their knowledge making Africa a stronger Nation. They started helping those with corrupt minds with how things are done. What you and I knew before does not matter as they are myths and not really facts. Things had changed.

How can we help our children to understand that helping someone is good because it will create more opportunities for others?   It will make their own job easy too. I am sure if children took care of themselves, their parents would have a break too. Looking at three myths from Bill and Melinda Gates will help you diffuse those ideas. Things have changed so I heard. Many African countries are doing great in terms of poverty, but it is not in my power to convince anyone that Africa is getting more work done now.

As an African myself, I have not really done a good job in explaining to  my children  what other good things that could come from Africa  if things were in order. I get it that things have changed, but it will it will also require more knowledge which will go beyond what is in a paper. Recently our children started making crafts from yard sale which I bought for  50 cents to be precise. The crafts looked so good and well-organized that I started to navigate how they can go to Africa and share some of their works.

 Now having come from Africa, I was skeptical at first because I know it will take a lot of money and preparation if I have to involve my kids. How I see Africa is totally different from how others see it. I see it from my personal narrative. Things I wished   that were there. How corruption took over.  I do not think it was advisable traveling with the children with less than enough money.  Africa has changed from all the things we now know. This article from Bill and Melinda Gates can help anyone to make a good decision on that. Things have changed. We need inspirations from everyone. We can thank all the people of the world for making the world a better place. The world is becoming closer. Thinking globally, according to Peter Kivistos, is one of the key ideas in sociology.” Looking towards  the global future”. How we can share ideas, learn from one another. Just like Kivisto said it in his book,, “what the future held in store for you at the dawn of the Twenty –First century? A brief look backward indicates how different is today from what it looked like at the beginning of the twentieth century. The sheer tale and scope of change renders this century distinct from its predecessor”.

In adding to what you know before, you can read this article from Bill and Belinda Gates about the Three Myths that block progress for the poor.

 1 Myth One:  Poor countries are doomed to stay poor. I think people worry about corruption when it comes to African stability. People hear more about corruption in Africa than other good things happening over there.

2 Myth Two:   Foreign Aid is a big waste of money: Recently a lady told me that she is tired of being a big brother to foreign nations. She hated the idea that the federal government is wasting their money on foreign Aid. What she does not know is that the world is changing a lot. We have more people who will give anything to come and live here work and gain knowledge. The more people gain knowledge the more they are willing to help others..

3 Myth Three: Saving lives leads to over population. This is a big lie.

How things have changed over the years will bring happiness to our hearts. Talking about “Wind of Change” , without sociology, things would have been different. . One of the key ideas in sociology is how we can share ideas, share knowledge, borrow language and learn from one another, produce more teachers to go across border and teach. Just like Bill and Melinda Gates said here. According to them, “Countries will learn from their most productive neighbors and benefit from innovations like new vaccines, better seeds, and the digital revolution. Their labor forces, buoyed by expanded education, will attract new investments”.  It is time again to think globally. Think Oneness. Your input means so much. Thank you for reading.


Living in the moment require time and efforts.
Some urgency,
It require being in the right place,
At the right time.
Something’s never add up.
Time is running,
Flying at a high speed
Expecting all  to follow suit.
I want to be part of the moving
Other times
I want to disappear,
Fly away,
Run as fast as it could go
Rest in a perfect blossom
But who are you
Where are you,
Puzzle me
Walking dead
Help me
Look at me
Follow me
Join me
Walk with me
At the end show me where
You want me to be.

When You Can Be Thankful Too

What are you thankful for?  It is no wonder the time is here again. The fall brings in good tidings, the blessings that have no measure. Happiness among many things is supposed to be around the corner. The Thanksgiving celebration is here again, a time to celebrate everything from our health to all the favors we have had all year. A time of caring, a time of giving, and a time of showing gratitude. There is so much to be grateful, and much to be happy about. Yet a lot of things have come and gone that has made us remain so impassive.

Recently too many things have happened that were not supposed to happen. Too many people are hurting; the economy is so bad and the mood in our country is really not that great. According to a new study, 47% of women remain underpaid. Remember the economy goes with women’s directions.  There is a lack of growth opportunities especially for women, the research has indicated. Banks are not really excited  about giving out loans.The student loans are sending shivers to a lot of students who think that it will take years for them to finish paying their student loans. The truth remains that there is a real crisis in the world.

I know someone will say, “Is she supposed to be bringing this up?. Can she ever do without reminding us about what is wrong always?” Can she go one day without saying what is wrong?”  Well, that is not how I work. My job is not to be happy because my life is better. My job is not to promote dishonest people,or to pretend that all the children are having equal opportunities out there whether by design or by accidents.  My job is to look at things that creates poverty, a look at things that bring uncertainties.  I still worry about all the injustice that goes on every day. Can I change all the things that go bad in the world today? No, but I see more problems because I work closely with people. In reality, people are not celebrating the way they should be now. Why?  There are so many problems going on. I have seen people look at me disgustedly and have felt that I am part of the problem. Most of them do not even know that I too have been working without pay pretty much. I still belong to the statistics of underpaid women. I still have more than $56,000 in student loans. I am still wondering how?

How about these Wishes Right Now?.

1 Wish there is an answer to the lingering problems here in our country. Recently I met a little girl that has lost her mother. Her grandmother is now worried that she is behind in her reading. At 5 years old. She is totally behind in her reading and mental skills. I know how that feels. For those of us that grew up with our grandmothers, it is not always easy on them because they want to do something great for their grand kids, but the truth is that they are tired to do so much. Therefore, children like Abigail will continue to struggle; part of the poverty circle that will never go away.

2 A time we wished we are in a world where we can be able to tell how sad and how mad we are without someone calling us a complainer.

3 A time we wished we live in a country where anyone can enjoy his or her hard earned money without someone frowning at their success. Calling them show offs, ego, selfish and other things that go on here.

4 A time we wish to live in a world where anyone can tell what he or she sees and say how he or she saw it, without someone calling for his or her head.

5 A time we wish we live in a country where anyone can say what he or she knows without someone calling them egoistic.

6 A time we wish we live in a Country where we can build a home without a problem.

7 Wish we can also preach the gospel and practice religion without someone calling us a hypocrite

8 Wish we can also tell the truth without being in trouble

9 Wish we can make a mistake without going to jail.

10 Wish we can cry out so that somebody will listen to us but oftentimes we never get a shot.

11 Wish we can ask questions, save a child before he or she commit suicide

12 Wish we can be so free to shout at our own convenience without annoying someone.

13 Smile because life deserves it.

14 Support who you want to support; love who you want, without people bringing race to it.

15 Wish we can claim any nationality without getting backlash.

16 Wish we can help the helpless without thinking that they are our nightmares and treat them so horribly.

After facing unnecessary backlash too . I have recently begun to worry about my children, and other people’s children, and thinking what kind of world they will be growing into.” They are still better off here in America,” I cried. I still think that in terms of everything, this remains one of the best countries in the world, but things are not totally perfect. Finally, one of the things I enjoyed when I was growing up in Africa was the ability to love who I want to love, listen to the kind of music that I love, and  talk about my favorite writers without something reminding me about my color or race. I know my children will not experience that and it hurts so badly.

The issue of race is the most disturbing thing I have ever witnessed here. I grew up in a culture of different tribes and know that there is nothing wrong about being different.  I know it is hard to be both colors. But we  live in a country where majority still see pretty much everything on race, stereotypes, assumptions and biases. Sometimes we fail to teach our children the most important values of loving their neighbors as themselves. We hear things that will make us hate each other more especially if we continue to listen to some TV stations that talk about race all the time. No wonder things are the way they are now. I wish we all have answers to all these problems that will never go away. I wish we can celebrate Thanksgiving in a very good mood without worrying about weather, money and our places in history. I hope this Thanksgiving will give you all that you have ever asked for. Make you show more gratitude. Give you opportunity to love more than you have ever done before. Thanks giving is not only for the good times, but  also a time to give thanks even in the mist of all the good, the bad, and all the ugly things surfacing before our eyes that we have no control of. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. without you, i am nothing and you know it.

What you will take away from this today  is that real life sound so much negative. I promise, my idea is not to dampen anyone`s  spirit. But to find ways we can live in harmony. I know most people will feel and relate with this also. But I appreciate you for reading it . What are you thankful about ?

Seeing Beyond Purlieu 1.

How will you know.Photo credit from gallery.

Happy day today . It took a lot of courage for me to come to this conclusion. It also took a lot of strengths to move on. I hope everyone growing up is teachable. I hope we can all see beyond our purlieus. One of the best parts of learning from people now is that the rooms are never smaller each time I walked in it. It is becoming wider and wider with love, amazements, and wonders. Thank you all for your love and kindness. I will put in all great efforts to be the person that the people would want to see. The journey has just begun. Why the sudden change anyone will ask? Because that is the power of becoming successful according to Henri k Ibsen

The great secret of power is never to do more than you can accomplish .the great secret of action and victory is to be capable of living. Henry K, Ibsen

Thursday would have brought sorrow to the people I loved dearly .There is also power in the ability to see beyond oneself. But it would not have happened without these realizations.

1 Strengths from having a nervous breakdown. On Thursday around 7 pm, paramedics was called to my home while my husband was still at work. It was my children who went out of their ways to call some neighbors and asked for their help. The nervous breakdown came from an anaphylactic shock, a reaction from a coffee that I drank on Wednesday at a coffee shop.

By definition, “.anaphylactic shock and maybe drop dead. This reactions can range from mild skin rashes to rare but severe, even life-threatening”,

The reaction I had was so powerful and it  nearly took my life. Normally I would not have reacted to anything since I am a picky eater.  I struggled for 3 hours to say a word as I realized that I had no control over what I said at that particular time. The realization that my children were so distraught brought me to my knees. It also took a conviction from my five year old daughter to tell me that she prayed for God to help me but he didn`t. But I said to her, “how did you know that he did not listen” and she said.” well  the fire fighters saved you”. I know because they can “she said.  But during the time I was in the emergency room, I realized how badly the whole situation could have been.  I realize too  that my children would have been motherless just as I was growing up; knowing that feelings brought me to tears yet again.  It brought back sad memories that I have been trying to avoid. The parts so unknown beclouded my memories as I lay down helplessly . May be they would have figure out the world alone like I did. But I was so honest to admit that my lord saved me. I could not have known the difference anyway. I am still recovering every day now. This is the first serious emergency visit for me ever; other than the previous ones I had while I was pregnant.Normally it would have been for one of my children as those kids reminded me again. Mummy how did this happen?  “It would have been us” they said. Well I need to say no sometimes I suppose.

Knowing when to say noRecently, I have tried to say yes to everything even to the things I had no clue about how they works. I have grown up to be a people`s pleaser. I will go out of my way to appreciate things. But the sad news is that this Wednesday was also an eye opener too. Even while I was suffering from the hives, I should have gone back home to get help that I  so much needed; but I still went to honor an invitation hoping they will still remember me. But the reception I got from one of the people that I have always looked up to was so discouraging. But never let little things like that to limit your potentials. There is greatness in each and every one of us. You do not need doubters sometimes to bring you down.

“How will you know how far you can fly, if you did not spread your wings”. ?

It is always so hard for me to say no even when I know that I will not honor that request. It does not make me weak or a make me a liar. But it is all about pleasing the people. The feelings of letting anyone down have always been an issue with me, but not anymore.

Finally, I woke up today with a warm heart. A heart filled with compassion. It all started with reflections, seeing things that I had never seen before. How did I get here? I asked, Suffering a nervous breakdown and knowing when to say no will be a key to my success. I know there is a time in our lives when we need all the love. There also will come a time when  we will  surrender not because we are weak, but because the power of the people. The love of the people supersedes all things in the world.

Thank you all for showing, giving me all these attention. I promise to do better. Moving forward, I will put others first like I would want to. Speak nothing but the truth in love. I will not back down; but I will move forward with my message of hope and love.

Finally, I will say a big thank you to John for your wonderful seminar yesterday. Thank you INC magazine for your wonderful article directing me to go back and  re-focus. I thank you so much.  My greetings to MIT, HBR and My Alma mater The University of Georgia, for feeding me with the entire articles geared towards my success. Thank you Alexis too, for without you all these could not have happened. I am sure these people will be wondering why!  How? But there are words that are never the same.

Tomorrow 11/11/13 I will embark on a spiritual journey with Oprah and Deepak. This is one of the spiritual journeys that will help me to become the person I would love to become. I have attended some of these since I have been here on line. I have had the best amazing eight months of my life. A life that has often ended and defined by the four walls of classrooms filled with students that were still searching.

I have seen it effects on my life. I have been in this situation in my life before. It started from Africa, but the death of Princess Diana in 1997 when I came here totally changed my life. Growing up, I wasn`t always close around people . I was not mean to anyone either, but there is always a wall. A wall that is so tall. This wall has saved and it would have also ruined my life. Call me a liar if you can. I know who you are. But the last thing I will do is to lie to anyone. I have other important things to do than to impress people that could care less about what I have to say. But ask me any question. Tell me how I can improve. I want to share my knowledge with the world. It will take the right people to guide me. Show me ways to be a better human being.

I promised that after this journey, my life will never be the same. It all starts from you, you, and you, and all of you. Thank you so much Jeff Groins for all that you do. Regards to all, and most importantly, it could not have happen if not for my breakdown and the ability to learn when to say no to everything that I do not necessarily need.  Have a wonderful day. How and when have you come to a certain realization if you have? How do you see beyond perspectives? I will like to hear from you.

The Six Reasons Why People Fall For Shortcuts

As someone who lives in the real world, have friends who are real and working, I think it is time to get things straight. Before I said, “What will happen when you drop out?” Now we will look at things that throw them off. Why people fall for short cuts. It is a trend .It is a pattern.

1 Over time, students begin to focus on how to pay their student loans. As someone who has about 53 thousand in student loans, I totally get it. But the sooner you worry less about that instead of school now, you can apply for scholarship that no one will expect you to pay back. Many schools now have means that can help you pay your school fees, so stop worrying and start reading. Forget about student loans. It is often easy to worry about student loans; just don’t worry and miss out on the schooling itself.

2 Do not get caught up with buying a home when you cannot afford it. One of the biggest problems in American culture today is the environmental culture. Where you live determines how far you can go in life. If your environment is positive, you will have a positive outlook in life. If you get caught up in a gang-related neighborhood, your children will be affected. The problem here is if you buy a home in a neighborhood that does not promote learning, your children will fall back. One of the greatest lessons came from studying sociology. I learned more about environments than anything else. I have been living in an apartment for years. The good news is that because I have my children’s education at heart, I will hop around to live at least where they will have a decent school.

If you buy that house, how sure are you that you will sell it when the time comes for you to move? What do you do when your home-school or your children’s school falls into a non-performing but failing school? What if you do not have a car to transport them to and fro? Then if you are in  minority, it will be difficult to sell anything due to stereotypes that I never want to get into. I have been affected by it , everyone has sometimes too whether you are white, black or Asian. So do not buy if it is not necessary. Be like me, float, enjoy and be free. Buying a home is not maintaining a home. You must be prepared for it.  Half of the things I hear all the time is, “What of  people that went to school, where are they?” I have my own house. We all need a means of looking at real-life issues.  Buying a house, especially when you are so young, will disrupt your plans. The thought of paying your mortgage is not good for your academics. Academics need a stress-free life to be effective.

3 Avoid a business education. Getting a college education will equip you better with real-life issue.  To go to college or not to go should not be a question. Get it first. Technical or business should be on your list last because you pay higher at those schools; they have low graduating rates. You get stuck with huge student loans with huge interest that even accumulates while you are still in school. You stay in debt. The more education you have, the more ability you have to solve the problem. I was once in a business conference, and I am not calling their name. Their belief was that you go to college to help rich people make money. Well somehow they are right, but that is not the reason for going to school. What they imply is that college only teaches you how to work for the rich people; well that is not how I see it. I look at myself that I can work anywhere and make any convincing argument about what needs to be done. College will prepare you mentally. It can even give you an option of doing any job without feeling ashamed of yourself. Most educated people are good at what they do because they can work both their job and other people’s job. But when you are working with a limited option, you cannot become satisfied, so put that into consideration

4 Secondly, avoid a recruiting job at all costs, especially for a community college. Half of the problems young students go through are settling in a dead end job.  Here is why.  Most students are often attracted by this job of talking to incoming students. Don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with that, but you will spend more than usual time going to recruit students that you will actually study. No teacher will give you good grades because you are a recruiter. Instead the best job to do while at school is working in the lab. The math lab, English, library and other jobs  that are so flexible, it will give you time to study. Remember while you are in a college, your time is so precious; therefore, use it well. If you are in a community college, there is no way you can make it knowledge-wise without moving to a 4-year college. But you know what most times students are attracted by the recruiting job that they easily forget to complete their college. You have to recruit yourself first before recruiting someone else. Recruiting involves a lot of communication, time and strenuous hours that will not help you to study. Studying requires discipline that oftentimes you start losing your grades, and then next is becoming a full time recruiter. They best job to do in college is probably to work in labs and teaching jobs, all those jobs that will give you time to study,

5 What will it take you to take your normal exam?  Do you know that the time you spent at technical school would have been used in a college, even if it a community college. At technical college you have so much to pay since they are all private schools and most of their credits do not transfer to another state college when you need it.  Please try and avoid a vocational training institute. One, they are a private school. They will not ask you for a GED, but later you will find out that you will have limited job to do with a lot of student loan. Try and go to a public college, especially a community college. Take your normal exam s. The problem is that when you are ready to go to a public school, you will find that your credits will not transfer and your student loan is huge, then you need another job to keep up.  When I took English as a second language and after one year, I was ejected from Kennesaw state University. Instead of going to a technical  college, I moved from a 4-year college where the pace was quick to a community college where I started at my pace. I was able to pass my English  a second language and move on to a college course. Remember it is easy to see what you’re doing right than what you are doing wrong. Stay the course. Move on to a school that you can transfer their college classes. Avoid schools that you cannot transfer their college classes.

6 The problem of working your way up. Do you know that working your way up does not make sense? Why because the same employer will forget all the years you put in to hire more and younger college graduates. Do not go and get a job at a your local store and expect to work your way up the ladder: this is where someone will convince you to work your way up. Well the bad news is there will be many more students coming up, well equipped that before you work your way up, the job will no longer be available to you.

Do not get your next full time job in your nearest fast food place. If you can avoid it, please do. It is good to work in a restaurant while you are still in college, but the problem is that most times the easy money, tips, the attractions often give us doubt whether it will be worth going to college. The hours may be flexible now, but when you have children, it may not. We have all been there; it is very tempting to buy a house at 16, married the same year with a child, and a job. Make sure you have a plan, especially when you bring children into this world, then you will find out that you are no longer going to have flexible hours. The baby will become an issue and that money you think you have will not be there.Tell me what you think. This is a plea from a an inconsistence college student.

For the past two years, I have sabotaged my schooling to stay in a dead-end job. My job takes a lot out of me, takes my energy; it is filled with negative people but I continue to stay because I fear that if I leave…that’s it for me, I am old now (late 30s). I will be knocked off my safe tray. My thoughts race, in fear, I can’t really tell you why I keep in this cycle, I have dropped several courses over the past few years and set myself back in my degree, immensely. My true desire it to take a year off. Kassandra