Learning is part of living. I love learning from people. Recently I took a 21 day life class meditation with Deepak and Oprah Winfrey. Throughout the time of the meditations, I realized that my common theme was stress and why I could not have avoided it even if I tried. It was a common theme that has played a role in my life both in negative and positive ways. At the end of the program each day, I had to answer four questions that have helped me to gain clarity in my own life and my relationships with other people. It was an honest and the most vulnerable I have ever come close. Those answers never came easy because some day I tried to avoid answering them but my determination to be free was part of my dedication to the program also.
On this final day of the program 12.2.2013. They want me to share my vision with the world and what this meditation had done for me. These are their own questions and I have to answer and share with the people.
1 What is your vision, your wish of peace and abundance for all people on Earth? Write it out with detail; consider sharing this as a Facebook post or in an e-mail to those you care about. Give yourself permission to let your heart’s intention shine and ripple out into the world
A vision of peace: As a child, I cannot remember hurting anyone, or staying around anyone who creates problem for people. I hate to pick on anyone even when they had done mean things to me or to other people. I always forgive everyone except one person that I still haven`t found reason to especially now that I have lost my dad, I always felt that the air is always watching over me. God sent you here on earth for a reason (the voice will always tell me). I have always been a peace maker who will cry for anybody who had lost someone.
As my husband even told me I should have made a lot of money by being a crier. Or become a funeral orator, someone who cries for everyone. Therefore, I will love a vision of peace among us all. I want people to know that the world works the same regardless of where one is. Take your time to understand one from their cultural perspectives. I always work with conscience too.
Secondly, as someone who is open to all humankind, one of the most difficult things I have endured living here in America is there is an unspoken division among people. And as someone who had attended more than 10 different colleges here in the United States too. I saw things that broke me too, some made me to be a better person, and others made me to rethink my journey.
I also noticed that people will rather hide and neutralize issues that will not benefit them. I grew up in a country that has problem with their local tribes yet people faced each other without so many problems. Even when problems arose nobody would call each other racist or tribalist . It has always been on a mutual relationships love and hate relationships if you care to call it that way. As an outsider here too, sometimes people find it interesting how open I am about race, environment, and culture. I genuinely feel like if all children will be raised by eliminating race issues from them, I think they will do better in life. I want them to unclutter the issue of race from their selves so that they can grow with their eyes wide open to feel, breathe and exhale to love without expecting what they will gain from that relationship. To genuinely care without race interfering.
Raising up my children, has been a dream come true. For anyone who knows them too will openly tell you that they are the most free -minded people around. It did not happen without putting work on it. We were able to limit baby sitter. All the TV stations that promotes or create tensions about race. They understand that they have brown color, but there is not so much that has been spoken about that. They feel so beautiful without worrying about every other things I have seen children worry about. Because of that they see the world the same way other mindful individuals are raising their own children. It will not make me a better person to talk the talk without walking the walk. So the type of the world I have vision is laid down from my children.
Charity begins from home. I cannot stress that enough. I know that race is a predominant issue beclouding our visions sometimes here. It is impossible to say anything without race playing its course. I will love the children, the youths to focus more on what will benefit them individually than focusing on race related issues as the people would want them to. In the end, we can all remind them that to be unique individual is never a crime.
One of the key ideas in sociology as stated by Peter Kivisto is thus he wrote in the introduction to democracy (1853) (1969) on talking about America as a model of Europe future as stated by Alexis de Tocqueville on individualism
“I admit I saw in America more than America, it was the shape of democracy itself which I sought, its inclinations, character, prejudices, and passions: I wanted to understand it so as at least to know what we have to fear or hope there from “(19)
Tocqueville even set out to describe the nature of social relations in democratic societies. According to him, he clearly understood that people in pre modern societies did not always act in ways that advance the interest of the community. He did not romanticize the pre modern relationships between society and individualism. Despite the fact that peoples identity were far more fetched meshed with a collective identity, much could go wrong in the way people relate to and connected with society (86)
As someone who had lived a dual culture this is the same ideas that has made me cry although they have good intentions but the problem is that more and more people are living in isolation. It is creating more hatred than we could imagine. It is even obvious especially if you are not raising your children to the norms and values of the way society expected it. It is heart breaking to see how divisive we are all into this. It can be very dangerous to the children growing up in a world full of biases, stereotypes, injustice, nepotism, assumptions and many other things too. One thing I have always loved about America that I spoke passionately about that has always putting me in bad blood with people I do not even know about is that democracy rules here. It is good for everyone but things can go wrong too as I wrote in one of the prose I wrote recently yet to be published.
2 What is the most influential ‘ah-ha’ moment you had during our twenty-two days together?
I believe it came on the 17th day when I was asked about A ghost cross path. This moment reminded me of what I have been thinking lately. The question says” Who was my best teacher: A ghost cross path and what you learned from him or her”. I was so shocked because I am the exact replica of my father but in a lady’s robe. My father loved education, and he sets up our community for learning. He spent his money helping the community and all the poor people, He was a Christian, an Atheist, Nze, a born again Christian, a politician, a democrat, republican and he belong to all the parties when I was growing up in Africa.
He was able to accommodate everything without stress. Strangely too he believed in every one too. I thought when I was growing up that there was no way I would be like my father, but as time gets deeper I was just my father, the difference was my father was so open and very close to people. He knows how to be honest and play politics at the same time. But I was so different sometimes people may not even know how I stand on a lot of issues. I want the best outcome to all kids not necessary what the society thinks. But while my father confronts issues, He had so much energy to oppose things that he felt was not fair, I did not have as much energy like my father did. I never confront issues but I ran away from issues. People will want me to be out there as a lover of peace, education and my charity work but I always have excuse to disappear because I do not know how to control things around me. And my stress level is negative. My father was both energetic, Humorous and say it like it is kind of a guy. Very calm and bold. So I realized that my weaknesses was my father’s edge over me yet we are same individual.
3What does gratitude mean to you today? What are you most grateful for in this moment?
I am grateful for Deepak and Oprah for constructing a very hard questions that will lead to honesty, and vulnerability. Also grateful for this program because it made me create a title for my book as one theme kept reoccurring. I am also grateful as my daughter survived another asthma attack. I am grateful that my fears are disappearing, which was as combination of stress all the things I was not saying out. I am so grateful for the spirit of love in this world despite our differences. I am grateful that I am making efforts to reach out to people which I never considered doing before,
4 Use this space to reflect further on your experience today. Gratitude means being grateful
I have always regretted that I have not given my time enough to people that may need them. But I have been a student for most part close to 15years. I also have three children that have food related asthma and allergy that I work around their school programs. So I have always worked around their health and as student, even when I want to regret why I ran away from leadership positions, I always see myself defending my actions and had never regretted it. It does not make me selfish but between us, my husband and I we have been dealing with exceptional difficulties that if we do not handle very well will become a problem later in future. My husband is still in school at this moment. We have never had extra income to do anything.
Finally I encourage anyone that have problem of trust, relationship and openness to seek help. From seeking help you might discover that deep inside there is a guiding purpose for all of us to do what is right at all times. .