In Defense Of Gasnsler: Why Every Parent Should Send Him A Lovely Note

On Thursday on MSNBC and in social media, photos and videos of a humble and a decent American teenager`s dad surface. The videos and photos posted on social media not only showed him as one of the party goers, but also as a bystander, an enabler watching as the kids waste away (really). Today we are celebrating that a parent is in trouble for drinking with his child. As a parent, nobody wants to be in that situation. There should be no parents at a party with teenagers, if it is avoidable.

Gansler, 50, a MD attorney general was accused of partying with his teenage boy and his friends. According to the report, the party took place at a six bedroom rental home in South Bethany, Del where Gansler`s son was staying with close to a dozen other graduates of the Landon School in Bethesda “beach week.” As the picture surfaces, everyone from bystander to onlookers became interested in the news . Why because this is what  we as a society clamors on so well. They are always looking for a slight mistake to bring anyone down. We love to build them up and watch them disappear.  If not, what is the special interest? Now let’s face it, “Are we turning ourselves into what is good for the goose?” (Mickey and the Goose if you ask me).

Here are the real Americans’ “biggest problems.” You can now cry if you really care for this country. Ganslers are not the problem. The teenagers are committing suicide; we do not jump. Teens are going through cyber bullying; no one is talking; kids are texting and not writing, no problem. Teens are dropping out of school, no problem. CPS is in our homes telling us how to raise our kids, Teens are on drugs, and they are also living in our various homes planning attacks on their fellow kids and the general public:  the list goes on .But if you are not worried about anything else happening to us, you should be worried about our disintegrated communities.

Which way should it be for our children if you really care to know?

Many children still live in isolation, but really if it is not happening in our particular homes, it does not matter anyway. I have had people tell me to mind my own business, but how could I when the same spirit that was in the communities forty years ago helped me to become who I am today. Even if it is not a concern to anyone, just know that children cannot do it alone. According to Hilary Clinton, “It takes a village to raise a child.” 

It is now time for people who really know this man to come to his defense. I know as a parent no one will come to his defense. We live in a culture that people will tell you in your backyard that you are doing a good job with your children, but when it is time for them to come and help you tell others, no one will come to your rescue.

Sadly too, we live in a culture where CPS has the power to take care of our homes. They tell you, the parent, when they will come and remove your children if you refused to give those children whatever they wanted anyway they want it. As a parent you cannot discipline your own children without CPS in your business. They send you letters whenever they want. Now parents are afraid to say anything to their children.

When the news broke out on MSNBC that he was partying with his son with the picture all over the place, I probably could have condemned him. If I had no clue how hard it is to get anything done in this country especially for a parent parenting a teenager. For most of you who either have children or do not have any, it is easy to see things from a distance. Or to see him as a no good parent because he was partying with his son. He is a cool dad and that is what the people want.

Parenting children is hard. We also live in a country where whatever any parent says will not matter. He has a right to defend himself; as an attorney general, he knows better. He also knows that “It is not his part to stop other children from partying as he defended himself about stopping teen bash.” But do not forget that a  typical child is growing with much bigger wings than most parents can imagine.

What is happening now is what you see. Parenting is at its moral and all-time low, not because all or most parents want it that way, but because the authority has been shifted. We are in a new special world where things like parenting, especially teenagers, are hard. According to Garner, he said that he faced tension facing any parent of a teenager, “How much do you let them go?  How much do you reign them in? I`m really no different from any other parents,” he said. Neither he nor his son was drinking, which I believe him.

 

What we should be worrying about:

1 What we should be worrying about is the loss of our communities where children do not get to fear their neighbors anymore or even to confide in them.

2We should be worried that they are growing too fast with no strong sense of what is expected of them.

3Teachers are burnt out and have lost the interest of mothering your children instead of teaching them.

4 These teenagers want to eat their cakes and have it. They understand their rights.

5 Childhood should be a journey and not a race. They are almost at the finish lines.

Finally, please give Mr. Gansler some credit for at least being there. He loves this child and anything could have gone wrong. As a parent, myself, who has heard other parents talk, we should find out ways we should help our children more. If not, the ways things are going, like Gansler said, he faced tensions facing any parent of a teenager. I am not different from any other parent”

Thank You, Mr, Gansler. Because those criticizing you do not know what it means to be a responsible adult raising a teenager or even children in a  situation  were  we are facing  now more than ever a broken, race based, disintegrated, dysfunctional , CPS, red, blue, yellow, white, black, poor, rich country. And a country that even internally, foreign countries like China, Malaysia, Russia; others are also dictating our lives. You cannot eat your cake and have it. Please let me know your own experience about parenting now.

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2 Responses

  1. That’s a tough one. I think that it’s admirable that he’s spending time with his son. Perhaps a bit more discretion would have been advisable, though. You are definitely right in that community spirit isn’t prevalent in many places. We are all so distant and cold to those outside our immediate circle. Especially those of us who live in a city. It’s hard to foster those relationships because of it. I would like for my neighbourhood to have a bit more community spirit, but at the same time, I don’t like it when people are in my business. It’s difficult to have a balance.

    • Hi Buffy, you are so right. Parenting is hard now because of all these things we all are seeing. But I hope people should treat most parents right when something like this happens. We still have more things that deserves attention other than he was partying with teenagers.. The world has changed so much and we need to address some problems instead of sometimes focusing on the wrong things. Thank you so much for your insights.

I welcome any comments

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