Not Just Another Story: Yet Another Limitation
Amy has guts, heart. This is a story of a little girl with so much determination, strengths like no other. Seeing her from a distance reminds me that she has the ability to persevere, and to overcome all obstacles. We have seen this before, seeing it later, and hope this is the last.
Friday 25th of May 2013 was yet another call for the end of the year celebration. That is when the school gives out the most prestigious awards of the year in conjunction with , student of the month, athlete of the month, go getter of the month, and don’t forget “you too suck” of the month and the entire year ending. People were everywhere on the sidewalk. Near the podium, I mean every person looked cheerful, forgetting all their sorrows heaped at home. As I look around. I saw proud parents looking healthy, happy, and embracing “The patriotic assembly.”
I mean in every category some children won many awards. Some people won like 5 awards. The end of the year award went so fast. delighted students grabbed every award as it came, and those award were over before I knew it. I was there still hoping that Amy will not come up short. In a minute, the principal will be announcing the award for perfect attendance, and I was hoping her name would be called. Not until she announced that the people in this category were people that never miss school for a day.
Yet it dawned on me that she may or may not make the school year perfect attendance category, not until they finished announcing the names of those that made it that I started to recount how many times at all she missed school all year. “Yes, done it!” I said. “When, how many times did she miss school,” I started to recollect. Probably many and I totally forgot. ”Look at me. Why do I care?” Well for the same reasons every other person was there. Who does not want a medal, even if you later see it in a trash can, it would not at all hurt. Not if you understand how prideful most parents are when such awards happen.
Finally. The category that I knew in my heart that is not for us, Physical education category. This is our story, our life, our pain. To add to the pain, they have National honor from the president for the most physical throughout the year. Then I knew in my heart, even in my head there was no way Amy would ever be in this category. Tears streaming down my eyes, I instantly went over to hug her when the award was over.
She said, “Mummy, do you know that this athlete award came from the president?” she was choking with words. I felt so sorry for her and I knew in my heart that if this case is for one of my daughters, you will not even hear about it, not even because the president gave out the awards too, but for Amy, she loves sports. She has a problem, and she has allowed this disease to emotionally affect her. Looking at me at a close range we bonded – hugged each other tears strolling. Mothers know best. Why do we have limitations in life? Why is it that something will never add up?
I remember my daughter and the problem called chronic Asthma. Yes this earthly bomb that has derailed her happiness, mine, and everyone that knows her.
Same issue that has kept me at home since I had her. I began to lament for the first time. Why her? Why asthma?
This girl loves to run, dance, jump but she cannot breathe if she runs I mile. She will lose her breath if she does anything physical. She cannot breathe if she eats anything with corn syrup. I wept for all the admissions to the children’s hospitals. I am also happy for her courage . On numerous times, the hope she gives me is beyond my comprehension. “Mummy I am okay. Do not worry. Everything will be okay,” even when she is close to her last breath.
Thank all the doctors that have helped to control all they can, yet it has a trigger. Anything can trigger her asthma. When it starts, everything stops. Again thanks for all the teachers for their helping hands and understanding. The school nurse who has worked exceptionally well in calling every number listed on her form when she desperately wants us to come and get her for emergencies. I was sad, angry. Because of her limitations, my daughter will never do what she loves to do—run, run, and run around with friends without reaching for her inhaler. We have all kinds of inhaler, yellow, blue, red, white, dark blue inhaler which also comes in all sizes, short, long tall and extra-large?
I am sad that somebody must call us at the begging of class or after to come and get her. Probably her oxygen went down again to 89; you think she is going to die before they will manage to get it to 92, yet they need her oxygen level at least 96 before she can go back to her class. Most times it stays the same, probably 90 at most, which makes no sense. Sadness engulfed me. Now people will think I am really angry, “No dam it!” I am not angry, but there is limitation. She worries about her asthma. This disease has overstayed.
From relocation to relocation, the journey that started in 2004, I knew she had a breathing problem. After visiting too many specialists, everyone thought it will be better in Phoenix. Where the weather is kind, so we think, less polio I suppose. Yet the sickness has not left her. The hardest part is hoping she will not pass away one night without notice. She has done every research to know why. And she is in a class for gifted students at her elementary school that has allowed her to speak and do research about her disease to her classmates ;therefore creating awareness about Asthma. (research)
1986 – World’s first metered dose inhaler introduced: Invented by 3M scientist Charles Thiel, the metered dose inhaler enabled asthmatics to administer repeated dosages of medicine without cumbersome refilling procedures. The idea was born after the daughter of a 3M president asked “why can’t they put my asthma medicine in a spray can like they do hair spray?” Today, over 70 million patients worldwide rely on metered dose inhalers for the treatment of asthma.
Last year November she almost died in the car while I was rushing her to an emergency. Before they took her to the children’s hospital, I have been asked by my favorite doctor on numerous occasions, ; Doctor Wells of West Valley Pediatrics, “How do you manage three people with asthma?” But my answer is, “That is why I do not talk about it. I am a manager; I have managed everything that comes my way, both the good, the bad the ugly.” Amy is a particular case. She is a particular case like no other. She has bigger problems compared to others; she was the only one who wants to do what she can’t. She has been to specialists, to the children’s hospital, allergy specialists, and she knows her medicine by heart. I worry because she worries about it.
Now there must be a cure; there must be a way. She cannot enjoy her life; eat what she wants to eat. Last March, she went to a sleepover for the first time because I never let her. But guess what, her friend’s mother was so kind to have noticed her, she held her breath so that nothing will happen just as I held mine too. We both agree that that sleepover was not a good idea. She began to cry again. Everything about this weighed her down. You can see the pain in her face; she just wished this could go away, so she can visit people that have dogs, cats, and all the pets she loves. Did I forget that she loves animals so much that that she wants to be a veterinarian? How can she accomplish all this with a breathing problem? I hope there is a day when she will be free from Asthma, run as fast as she wants, do all the physical stuff she was not able to do, and did I say probably win a gold medal in the category. She has never won before (maybe).
In this wondrous world where we wish everything is as smooth as we wished; no sickness, no health issues, and no huge insurance, free gas, free car, free air, free exhaustion and all the bad stuff. But I am stuck not with one, but three children with mild to severe asthma attacks, a character named Ozi (last child) and a “wanna fly” preteen. What more can I ask?
My problems are mine. I worry about them, still thinking about the world and the better people in it. Because I do not shout it out does not mean I have a perfect life. I have had my own share of pains too, but the best life is the life live with purpose, and not a life lived in helplessness. She has won almost everything in her life academically , but for anything relating to asthma sickness, missing classes and overcoming asthma (maybe). She is still going to read even in her sick bed. I hope I will live to celebrate this liberation if it will ever happen. Did I forget she is also a writer like her mother, too?.
I just want nothing but her full happiness so that she can do all the things she wants to do without limitations anymore.As school is starting next week. With all the hopes and excitement I have for a new lease in our life. I hope I do not have to stay again worrying about when the next telephone is coming. When is her next attack coming? What type of food to give her? or she is in emergency room. Have you had similar experience lets share some tips. I know Asthma has made my schedule over the years, I hope you do not have to go through this.