Daily Prompt: Shape Up or Ship Out.Open confession
The least threat that I want to shape up is my inability to trust people .I also wish I could be more open to ask for help when I desperately need one. I still feel the pain of disappointments from series of events over the years. Recently I have come close to loosening up, yet each time, and time again, it will fall flat. I also do not know how to share my feelings, but instead I will end up in my room reading or doing something that will take my mind away from it all.
Secondly, I am from Nigeria West Africa, the cultural difference is also huge for me .My language somehow, sometimes interfere with my tone of voice. I may say something very funny in my heart yet it may sound so boastful or disrespectful which is to me unbelievable. But in my heart it is just dry humor that no one gets. If I am rude which I know I am not, I should have asked for help. But I am working on the tone and that is all I can ask for.
Now I may be open for a while, and when it comes to taking action nobody will responds to me ,then I will go back not trusting. I wish I know how to open up. My introverted nature is also part of the whole problem too. Even in my community, they have done everything to get me close to people. But I respond to them, and then I will disappear. The part of introvert that tells me , you are wasting your time with these people. Go and read, do something. I am tired of living that way. I want to be free from Fear, doubt, and let go and be free. I know this will disappoint a lot of people ,but it is part of writing.