Reflection On What Motherhood Really Is On This Mother`s Sunday

As a child, I lost my mother on April fool’s Day; that is why I do not take anything seriously on April 1st. Because the death of my mother came as a fool`s play, and then being eight years old or less, all I wanted to do more than anything was to sleep, play, and eat with everyone around who was trying to make me laugh, smile and just be a kid. As Mother’s Day was so close to April fool’s, I thank God for all those people that have opened their homes for children during difficult times. Today again  5/8/13 I just got a bad news  that my daughter`s friend lost her mother in an accident in Russia, and she is only 9 years old. I still have to cry because that is part of my life. Please keep this young girl in prayers; I heard she was looking for comfort from anywhere. God please send some good Samaritans to especially console her over her loss during this mother’s day.

Motherhood is probably an accomplishment from what I have seen over the years. To me it is not survival of defitest. It is very simple and rewarding if one raises their children in a manner that benefits the world.  Generally motherhood becomes a great success story if there is a plan, and a priority.

Over the years, the notion of motherhood has begun to change.  Before, for one to become a mother, it took proper planning, organization, and a sense of urgency. But as things began to change, motherhood has shifted that now it does not require planning, organization and sense of urgency that it would normally require. We have children having children because for one, they have no clue what motherhood is all about, I guess. There are times to be a child, and there are times to be a mother.

In addition to that, we have a lot of grandmothers raising their grandchildren. Then those grannies have less and less energy that real parenting requires. I am still wondering if there is any grandmother on this planet that will match the energy that my 12 year old daughter has. Those types of kids that need more structure are now left in the hands of old, probably uneducated,  individuals. At the end, those children will become our problem, our time, our efforts, and our regrets. This is where my own concerns come in.

Now guess what, children can become manipulative even with their own mothers too (that again brings me to the book The Pretty Little Liars); talk about grandmothers whose generation may never have seen anything like they do now. A lot of kids are now the victims of, “What have you done to me?” Again our societal moral values have stooped so low that everyone is happy enabling someone.  As somebody who studied sociology, oftentimes it is hard not to cry when you look at the statistics of children who are clueless of what real life is. They will grow up not resisting the temptation of starting from where their own parents stopped. Why? Because they have no clue how real life works. There are social issues that are not healthy to our young mothers, but you cannot say anything because you are not allowed to. Now as mothers we are bound to love our children. Teach them how to behave; love them no matter what.

Recently, over the years I have come close to seeing parenting at its downfall. Yes, you heard it from me! It is almost inconceivable that no one is exempted from this chaos.  We have seen children killing their fellow children. Putting their act of ignorance ( like fighting their fellow students)  that they often put on YouTube and we watch and laugh about it. Where are your parents, ”Excuse me?“ if I should ask because I know that I will never raise a callous child. Not me, not in my watch. I am speaking for myself, and you can speak for yourself too with your conscience.

I wonder how a mother will not know what his or her child was up to. What happens when a problem surfaces? Parents find one way or the other to save their faces by claiming they never knew what their children were up to if things went bad. I saw a young girl that I love so much and wanted so badly to convince her to take her education to another level. Well I was shocked to know that she hated student loans more than getting an education itself. And unfortunately, I cannot force her to be my daughter. I would have at least taken that notion from her, but who am I?  Well as this Mother’s Day is fast approaching, let every mother think about the kind of mom they are and type of children they are bringing up.

Because I promised to share tips, let’s go.

Well, let me tell you the kind of mother that I am to see if that gives a little understanding. I am a mom that will call out my children especially if they start misbehaving. I can embarrass them if it is going to help them. I can tell their school if there will be any potential problems from my own child before the school can even figure it out themselves. I am a mother that loves to share knowledge among anyone around me because if the children knew that they have abilities to do well in life, there is nothing that will stop them from excelling.

I am a mother that will not say mean words around my children about anything. I had my daughter tell me that one of her friend’s mother told her that she cannot be a friend to people of color. My daughter`s friend told my daughter that they can keep the relationship secret. As kids, they kept their promise to themselves; we are talking about second graders. But the kind of mom I am, I will probably do the same thing, but I will not put my daughter in that situation because she will always have that in the back of her mind. I will probably not let anyone come and visit us without explaining why to my children. I have refused my children a lot of things without having to explain everything unless it is so necessary.

We always think that the problem with raising kids does not start from home. Think again?  There are ways to nurture them, but what you say to them is very important. I am not a fan of any mother whose children will intentionally go out and shoot children and claim insanity; well if my child had such a problem, everybody will know about it. I have once worked in one of the largest psychiatrist/ behavioral hospitals in Georgia (09/02- 05/08) and know firsthand how bad parenting can play a big role in our children’s emotional beings. Those people are more aware of their environment than one can imagine.

I am a kind of mother who will not say bad things about anyone, my church members, my lost friends and my community. I guess that is why my children can walk in anywhere without fear because I have not really ruined their minds. I teach them the real history not the negative history. No matter how serious a problem is, I will not hold any conversation with my husband in front of our children.

Finally, let this Mother’s Day remind us again about the need to raise these children that will not just get up and start shooting innocent souls.  But let us raise the future generation that will love themselves first before loving somebody else; the children that will dream big dreams, the children that will not slumber and disappear before they turn 22 years of age. We want children that are rich with facts, knowledge, children that will show empathy to others. The children that will not go to school and disrupt the academic environment putting their teachers in most vulnerable ways as could possibly be, I say things that I am aware of. I just do not talk.

Happy Mother’s Day


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